A Very Old Bird

T-t-t-tia! I want my own Tia pet.  It reminds me of the 90s.  And now you can grow a whole marijuana!
That's not supposed to happen.  Hey, you built the world this way.  Well, yeah, but I made nettles, too.
You don't see every pony rubbing themselves in nettles, now do you? [Visibly covered in rashes and sores] Hiya Princess Corn!
At least not most ponies.  If you rub the needle plants all over, you get a free tickle without the need for a second pony!
Derpy-Hooves? You're not even supposed to be born yet in this time line!  Oops! Sometimes I forget to not exist until I'm born.
Please save Dewpy Hooves! I don't wanna go back!  I don't... but how... ?  *sigh* Alright.
Anyways, you kind of just put your bird through all that just to make a pun? ONE PUN?! Yep; and it was worth every bit setting up.
...  Well I thought it was worth it  CLEAN THE BIRD!  Okay  I could use a bath, too.
These nettles are starting to burn.  Derpy! You're leaning on Philomena!  Never mind; forget the bath.  Oh. There's two Derpys

Background by Thehellbean (deactivated account), I claim ownership of all other art assets.