Playing With Hair

Why did my parents give me a hairclipper as a toy?  It was either that or a kitty.
Oh please, Opalescence is a sweet feline that would *SLASH!* Eeek!  OPAL! You don't do that to our guests!
:3 Ohhh I can't stay mad at you  Now let's go to the kitchen so I can cook you for dinner.
O.O [darts out of her hooves and runs away as fast as her stubby legs can pull her bulbous figure]  Wait, you were actually going to eat her?
I have this principle called revenge dieting. It's very simple.  If it breathes and its kind serves to annoy me I eat it.
Cats? They're carnivores; they eat nothing but meat. Get on my bad side and I'll loosen up one link in the food chain.
Cows? I like cows. They're useful. Chickens likewise. But that cockatrice that almost petrified you? Spit roasted with chives and olives.
Whoa, slow down there, Dexter. What? Cockatrice might taste like bacon wrapped in ecstasy and you'll never know.
Bacon? Oh, right. Bacon is something else.

Background by Mandydax, I claim ownership of all other art assets.