"Why not just make Lyra and Bonbon a lesbian couple to redirect most of the activists' attention away from Derpy?"
"OH GOD. Is that what meat is?!"
"Heh heh, when Shining Armour was under those mind-altering effects we should have called him 'The Shining' Armour."
"Humans find the word 'everyhuman' ridiculous; why don't we ponies consider 'everypony' ridiculous too?"
"If ponies were as sexually active as the rule 34 community suggests, all life on Equestria would have been wiped out by a well-placed STD a long time ago."
"During lunch today I was reading up on the prophecy and legend of Discord, and I came across a huge bit of information. As a result of him getting stoned that fateful day, a major release of energy was produced and sent into the atmosphere that'll disturb the weather patterns temporarily at great magnitude. I checked my weather instruments. Humidity's rising... barometer's getting low... according to all sources the street's the place to go. Because tonight for the first time; at just about half-past ten. For the first tiiime in his-to-ree, it's gonna start raining men!
IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUIA IT'S RAINING MEN!!! AYYY-MEN! I'm going to go out, and let myself get- absolutely soakin' wet!"
"If Shining Armour and Princess Cadence ever have a son they should name him Fire Arms. Colt Fire Arms will have a badass childhood."
"Hold up a second 'Gangham Style' is just a revamped variant of the Macarena!"
"If I earned a bit for every time a book was borrowed from my library I'd have to make meth in my basement lab to make ends meet."
"If everyone on this show can sing, what makes Sapphire Shores so special?"
"Send this letter to 10 other people and you will be kissed by the love of your life this Friday! If not you'll be set on fire and the boogey monster will give you a lap dance."
"Applebloom has a beige coat and a red mane/tail. Simba from the Lion King has a beige coat and a red mane/tail. Applebloom became friends with two misfits named Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. Simba became friends with two misfits named Timon and Pumbaa. Applebloom sought advice on her purpose in life from a lone alchemist that lived in a tree named Zecora. Simba did the same thing when seeking such advice, except it was a monkey named Rafiki.
The possibility that Applebloom's dad was trampled to death by a herd of wildabeasts is imminent."