A God Among Hats

Why do I keep buying the loot crates?!  How in Equestria does a cooking pot count as a hat?
And why is it worth more than a top hat?!  This is a bucket.  Sweet Celestia...
There's more.  No...  We can glue hats together to make a true abomination.
A hat to surpass Metal Gear.  You stole my gear hat?  It's literally worth 8 centibits on the market.

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